A Final, but thoroughly separate thought

My final thought concerning Turn My Morning Into Dancing, a personal application, that I was left with as I read the final chapter is one concerning death.

Last winter I nearly died, after suffering what should have been a fatal head injury. By the great mercy of God, and by a real and mighty miracle, my life was spared. My head was restored, without medical intervention, from a state that should have required brain surgery to live more than 24 hours more, and even with survival could have been chancy.

I remember so clearly a moment, the night after the accident. I was laying in bed, (stubbornly, and unwisely refusing to go to the hospital because of my lack of health insurance and money) contemplating a very real potential of death.

(Also, remember, this was a brain injury. My brain was swollen to the point of hemorrhaging down my brain stem. Rational thinking skills at this point were essentially gone.)

I knew, in that moment, that without the divine intervention of God, if I went to sleep that night there was a 99% chance that I would not live through the night. I laid there, staring at the ceiling, coming to terms with the reality of death, and the fact that I would likely not see the morning.

To my great shock, in the face of death, I was satisfied.

Nothing about it scared me, save the small thrill of the unknown.

In that moment, I was complete.

I looked toward heaven and very simply laid before the Lord that my life was his choice. I told him in that moment that if I was to live, I understood that it was completely in his hands. And in expression of my own soul, I came to a complete understanding of his faithfulness and goodness. I knew that, if he took me home that night, that I would have no wrong to lay against him. No accusation, nothing. He had dealt with me well. So, in delight, I would embrace whatever path he had for me.

It was a moment of reckoning. Which, naturally, the outcome was that he sustained me and miraculously healed me. But I remember it so clearly, for it was so different from the mentality with which I face everyday life.

There were so many things in that moment, promises, prophetic words, things that had not come to pass yet, and as I stared down the throat of eternity, none of it mattered. I saw it, I saw it's incompleteness, and I saw the even bigger expression of God's faithfulness.

What a different perspective than the so often accusation based dealings I have with God concerning his promises.

I will be thinking about this much in the coming days.

Oh, the death of my flesh.

'tis a funny thing to prolong its life

Oh, that I would live for glory only

To forget the world in all it's strife

Joy comes in the morning.